At 4am I was awake again, the way I am every day now. My body feels tired long before the sun comes up, and with my medication not quite right, even small problems feel sharper. When I couldn’t find my password book, I checked my handbag twice, knowing it should have been there. That early‑morning panic crept in, the kind that comes more easily when I’ve already been awake for hours. I had to get a nurse to help me look — the staff always help me find things — and together we retraced steps I barely remembered. We finally found it tucked inside my red coat. A small mistake, but in that hour it felt like the world had slipped sideways.
By 8.30am the staff wake us for morning meds, part of the routine that keeps the day moving even when I’m exhausted. My health worker is away with a broken wrist, so everything feels a bit more fragile than usual. Still, I’m hoping I’ll sleep well tonight.